Walk the Plank
by lunar mischief
Summary: America and Canada learn that blackmail is a beautiful thing.


**I recently read that planking was invented in North East England. And then this was born.**

**Thanks to MoonClaimed (again) for beta-ing.**

**I own nothing.**

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><p>England placed his kettle on the stove and walked to the door to grab the day's paper. On the way, he glanced over at his bust of Queen Elizabeth I. He froze and instantly felt every muscle tense. <em>I must resist the urge<em>, he thought. But as his overly-large eyebrow twitched, he knew his resolve was fading. He had to give in.

Tea and breakfast forgotten, the Brit slowly made his way across his living room, stopping in front of the statue. He gazed down at it longingly. _It must be done…_

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><p>America ran out of his taxi, throwing a fistful of money at the driver. He couldn't wait to tell England all about his newest heroic plan. The American ran up the steps and threw the door open, not even bothering to knock.<p>

"Yo England! You'll never guess what I- Britain?" America stopped suddenly, taking in the scene in front of him.

The bushy haired blond was balancing precariously on the head of his former queen, which was resting on top of a bookcase. His arms were held stiff to his side, and his face was parallel with the floor.

Upon hearing the loudmouth enter his house, the United Kingdom's head shot up revealing wide green eyes. The sudden change in his position caused him to teeter on his stomach. He quickly outstretched his arm trying to right himself again, but his center had already been lost and he quickly found himself in a heap on the floor.

"It isn't what it looks like!" he yelped, green eyes meeting blue.

"Oh, really?" the younger nation smirked. "Because I could have sworn I just saw you planking."

"I was doing no such thing!" the shorter man replied, stumbling as he stood up too fast. "I'm the United bloody Kingdom, I would never do something as immature as _planking_."

America crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe. "Dude, I'm not going to forget this any time soon."

England scowled. "No one will believe you anyway. You're always telling such ridiculous stories."

America smirked. "You may be right about me. Canada, on the other hand…" The blue eyed nation took a step to the right, revealing his twin who was wearing his own devilish smirk.

England paled. "Oh bollocks…What do you want?" he asked dejectedly.

"Well you see…" Canada started, sharing a mischievous grin with his brother.

"France told us he wouldn't hit on us for a year if we could, ah, 'convince' you to do one little thing," America continued.

England froze. Nothing involving that frog was good. "I-I see…And what might that 'little thing' be?" he asked, shaking a little.

"Oh, nothing too bad. You just have to…um..." Canada's cheeks brightened in embarrassment.

"Prance naked around his house," America finished, coming to his favorite hat's rescue.

"I WILL DO NO SUCH BLOODY THING!" England screamed, face burning.

"Oh well, I guess we'll just have to go ahead and tell everyone…"America sighed.

"You wouldn't dare," the Brit seethed.

"Oh, but I think we would," America informed delicately. "As a matter of fact, I think Canada's already dialing."

England's head snapped over to look at the Canadian, who, sure enough, already had a phone pressed to his ear.

"Hey Prussia, you'll never guess what America and I-" The phone was quickly pulled out of his hands and snapped shut by the British man.

"Alright! Fine, I'll do it," he huffed, crossing his arms. "But only because I don't want people to believe that a gentleman would ever do something as stupid as planking."

"Britain, people stopped believing you were one of _those_ ages ago," America said as he dragged England to the car. "In ya go!" he said, tossing the Brit in the back.

"W-What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" the older man screeched as the door slammed shut in his face.

"Taking you to France, of course."

"Now?" England cried, mortified.

"Well yeah, the sooner the better, right Canada?"

The Canadian nodded. "It's really creepy when Papa hits on me…"

"B-but I'm not ready!" England stuttered.

"You're not? But you said you'd do it…" America's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Eventually! Not right bloody now…" England muttered.

"It's either now or Canada tells the world."

England frowned. He could either let them tell everyone and be ridiculed for life, or he could go see France. He cringed at the very thought. France would tell everyone what had happened.

But no one would ever believe that he and France...

England nodded to himself, then to the twins. America smiled as Canada pressed on the gas.

_Oh, this is gonna be good_.

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><p>The ride to France's was quick and quiet. England fidgeted around in his seat while America sent a quick text.<p>

When the trio pulled up to the house, England took a deep breath and went to open the door, but was grabbed and pulled back by America.

"W-What do you think you're-" England was cut off as his clothes were literally ripped off (damn the boy's super strength!) and he was roughly shoved out the door of his own car.

"You kids have fun!" America yelled out the windows as the car sped away.

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><p>France closed his eyes and took a sip of his wine, enjoying the sound of Debussy around him. His phone vibrated on the table behind him. He opened his eyes and glanced at the screen. A text message from l'Amérique. He opened it, smirking at the message.<p>

_We win_.

"Ohonhonhonhonhon~ I knew my plan would work." _Time to slip into something a little more comfortable_.

Taking one last sip of his wine, the Frenchman walked into his room. He stripped himself and grabbed his favorite rose just as the doorbell rang. He strode over and opened the door with confidence.

"Bonjour, l'Angleterre!"

"Umm, hi…" England mumbled, face scarlet and eyes looking to the side.

"Would you like to come inside?" France purred, grinning at the sight in front of him.

"I just want you to know that I'm not here out of my own free will. And if you tell anyone about this I swear I'll-" His eyes finally glanced over at the taller man. "W-What the bloody hell are you wearing, you stupid frog?"

France raised his eyebrow. "More than you," he said simply, still smiling.

England stiffened and turned even redder as he was reminded of how exposed he was. He just hoped a charge of indecent exposure wasn't going to be added on top of everything else.

Before he could make a counter remark, France took a hold of his wrist and dragged him inside, gently closing the door behind them.

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><p>"I can't believe it. We're actually getting a France-free year," America said, playing with his phone.<p>

"I know. I really didn't think that would work," Canada laughed, pulling into their hotel's parking spot. He glanced over at America's phone. "What're you doing?"

America smiled. "We promised England we wouldn't tell anyone. He didn't say anything about showing people though." He shoved the phone in his brother's face.

Canada smiled slightly at the screen. The picture of England planking had been uploaded to facebook and already had seventy likes. "England's going to kill you."

"It was worth it," America snorted has they walked into the hotel.

"Wait a minute…America, I don't remember seeing your phone when we went in. How did you…?"

America quirked an eyebrow. "Hungary's been using this tech for ages. You thought I couldn't crack her secret?"

Canada pulled up short. "You told her about England and France, didn't you?"

America's smirk bloomed into a full grin. "You bet your ass."


End file.
